Changes

I initially planned to write about another topic this week, but the topic of change is fresh on my mind, so I’m gonna write about that instead.

For those of you I haven’t told yet - I’m moving out of Hong Kong.

My family is relocating to Shenzhen, and I’ll be living right next to the boarder with Hong Kong.

Seeing these words written down makes the change feel so real.

Whenever I think about this fact, I feel uncertain, and even somewhat overwhelmed.

It feels like the end of a chapter, and the start of a lot of change.

When I have time to and process this, I would reason with myself and conclude that this really shouldn’t change much.

The new subway line would take me from the boarder of Shenzhen to the heart of Hong Kong in just under an hour, and the crossing of the boarder itself is going to be made so much easier now that new immigration rules allow me to get a special permit.

My friends, whom I’ve shared this news with assured me that Shenzhen is amazing, and I should be excited about the opportunity to live and explore a different city.

Yet, it feels like everything to me that I will no longer have a home base in Hong Kong the next time I have a summer break.

I feel sad but I don’t think I need to.

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This hit me all at once one night, when I was going back home with my mom.

Like usual, I wave and smile at our security guard as I walk in the building, but this time my mom stops and shares the news of our departure with him.

He smiles and tells us he has already heard the news from our landlord, but didn’t say anything to us because he didn’t think it was his place to do so.

We stood in the middle of the lobby, reminiscing over the 9 years that we’ve lived here. He talked about witnessing me and my brother grow tall.

I rarely had long conversations with him, and our interactions consisted mainly of me waving when I entered the lobby, and him waving back. But there is something uniquely sad about knowing that you will not get to see a familiar face again.

He ended the conversation by telling us to get back home as it is getting late, and said “我們有緣再見”, which means roughly, we shall meet again if we are destined to do so.

I definitely had to hold back a tear as we took the elevator home.

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A couple days ago I had dinner with my friend C. We met up to have dinner somewhere close to where I worked and decided on a local soup wonton restaurant.

As we finished our food, C went to the bathroom and I thanked the employee who cooked our very modest but tasty meal. I asked how business was, and found out that, just like many restaurants, they are significantly impacted by covid.

The employee fears that restaurants like this wont be around in the near future. “No young people wants to join our line of business”, he says.

I promised I’ll be back and thanked him again for the tasty meal as I left the restaurant with C.

I returned to the restaurant today. I ordered fishballs, wonton and fish skin dumplings with rice noodles in a light delicious broth.

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I think part of the reason I feel so weird about leaving Hong Kong is because it’s such a big part of my identity. My Canadian, Chinese and Hong Kong identities have always felt add odds with one another. I’ve always defaulted to “I’m from Hong Kong”, because I grew up and spent the most time here, and I’ve always felt that Hong Kong feels like home.

Not having a home in Hong Kong will feel weird for now, but hopefully will get better with time.

Having moved around so many different places in my life, I’ve learnt that changes in where I live will help me grow and become a more complex person, which means moving to Shenzhen is probably not so bad after all.

One thing to think about:

What is one change you experienced recently that made you feel uneasy?

Love,
David He